|
X Games (Part I) Mercifully, the mandate talk dies a little with every Social Security rumor and Kerik revelation. Unfortunately, however, religious fanaticism is quickly taking its place. On the homefront, the reelection of George W. Bush has opened up a Pandora’s box of misguided religious zealots with unfinished business. ‘Tis the season to marvel at the new American theocracy. Faith is more important than ever, especially since public policy is no longer based on fact. If you followed the election closely, you could not possibly have missed the truths we now hold to be self-evident: That God wants us to ignore 45 million Americans without health insurance. That God wants us to chop off mountaintops to run A/C units. That God wants us to ravage countries that make us nervous. That God wants us to melt the polar ice caps. That God wants us to run up a record public debt. That God wants us to bid out billion dollar public contracts non-competitively. That God wants us to back regimes with plentiful natural resources and scarce human rights. That God wants us to use gay people as a political football. That God wants us to subsidize pharmaceutical giants. That God wants us to pack semi-automatic weapons. Nowhere is this phenomenon more evident than on media outlets like FOX and MSNBC, where everyone from the re-emergent Jerry Falwell to frigid suburban housewives with a website attempt nightly to convince us that the fate of the nation rests squarely on the willingness of town hall to put a Santa on the front lawn. Welcome to the era of the cable fundamentalist. The cable fundamentalists are a scary breed. They receive so little satisfaction from practicing their own faith, they have to make everyone else practice it too. So much time pushing religion in the schools, so little time living it. They believe creed is a lottery they’ve won and you’ve lost. They are horrendous at predicting events but fabulous at explaining who deserved to die. Cable fundamentalists are more of a threat to this country than SUV limousines Of course, not all cable fundamentalists make it to cable. Some only make it to the cafeteria. But they’re basically the same folks minus the air time. They want you to spend your life walking on eggshells. Nothing frightens them as much as the prospect of having to think for themselves. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. A little of knowledge of God can be deadly. One small epiphany in the john, and they want to shout out to the planet how much they know, thereby demonstrating just how little they know. The next time you bellyache on Hannity and Colmes about how your kid wasn’t allowed to give out candy canes in class, could you answer one simple question? Exactly who in this great land of ours is stopping you from praying 24/7? Why don’t you get off the set of Hardball with Chris Matthews and bow, genuflect, daven, meditate, chant . . . whatever? All right, then, could you at least do me one simple favor? The next time you’re ranting and raving about how the Constitution says nothing regarding the separation of church and state, could you drop the “Judeo” from “Judeo-Christian?” Please, give me a break. Were the Crusades Judeo-Christian? Was the Inquisition? Was the Holocaust? Is the KKK? We know you don’t mean it. Some PR guy slapped the “Judeo” on there a few years ago like a bumper sticker. If you really want to prove how tolerant, inclusive, and open-minded you are, go on O’Reilly and starting bandying around “Islamic-Christian.” Click here to rant back. |