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The First Annual Rich’s Rant Awards Sound: Howard Dean for After the Caucus. Science Fiction: The CIA for Report on Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq. Technical Achievement: The US economy for Jobless Recovery. Best Make Up: George W. Bush and Gerhard Schroeder Best Sequel: The Yankees and Red Sox in the American League Championship Series. Worst Sequel: Bennifer II Best Unreleased Story: George W. Bush’s military record. Best Supporting Role: Tony Blair for Whatever Cheney Wants. Special Award for Collaboration: The ACLU and Rush Limbaugh for Strange Bedfellows. Costume: Janet Jackson’s right nipple. Best Musical Score: Justin Timberlake in the Super Bowl XXXVIII Halftime Show. Lead Role in a Horror Movie: Robert Durst for Galveston Bay. Best Non-Supporting Role at Her Own Trial: Martha Stewart Editing: The Bush Administration for The 9/11 Briefings. Animation: Howard Dean for After the Caucus. Best Comedy: The California Gubernatorial Race Best Androgynous Performance in a Foreign Film: Michael Jackson for Balcony in Berlin. Best Performance by a Foreign Actor in a Domestic Comedy: Arnold Schwarzenegger for The California Gubernatorial Race. Short: Gary Coleman Drama: India and Pakistan for I’ll Push the Button. Best Adaptation: Bill Clinton for getting used to being nobody. Runner-up: Al Gore Special Award for Subtitles: Osama bin Laden Best Short Documentary: Paris Hilton for My 38 Minutes With Shannen Doherty’s ex-Husband. Special Effects: Barry Bonds for I’m Not On Steroids. Best Foreign Cinematography by a Robot: Mars Rover Lifetime Achievement Award: British weapons inspector David Kelly. Best Actor: Pete Rose for Yep, I Did It and I’m Really Sorry. Runner-up: Robert Blake for I Went Back to the Restaurant. Second Runner-up: Scott Petersen for I Was Fishing. Best Picture: The one of Saddam Hussein getting his teeth checked when he was booked. Click here to rant back. |